不讓自己受傷害

I came across these writings while reading <<寶寶貝貝的回憶>>.


在社會上生活, 我們努力與每個喜歡或不喜歡的人維持良好的人際關係,
也因此我們學會了如何 「適可而止的愛」.
為了不讓自己受傷害,
即使內心在淌血, 仍可在人前笑容可掬,
即使心情盪到谷底, 仍可耐住性子, 只為與人維持良好的互動.
我後悔自己選擇了這樣的生活模式,
甚至對自己的人格產生懷疑.
我反反覆覆的思考我的後悔和懷疑, 直到有一天, 我發現,
心情不太好的時候, 我仍然可以和人談笑風生,
自尊心受傷的時候, 我仍然可以和周圍的人打成一片, 當作什麼事也沒發生過.
比起當場和人撕破臉, 我認為現在這種貼近現實的生活說不定更好呢!


For the benefit of my friends we have trouble reading Chinese, here is a simple translation.
Since working in the society, we have been trying to maintain good relationship with those we like and those we don't (like). From there we learn to love till a point so as not to hurt ourself (emotionally). Even if our heart is bleeding, we can still smile at the other person. Even if we are very very sad, we can still be very patient to maintain good rapport with others.
I regret choosing this kind of lifestyle. In fact, I did question my morals. Thinking thru and fro about my regrets and questions, until one day i realise, even if i'm not in good mood, i can still joke and talk with pple. Even if my pride is being hurt, I will still be able to social with others as if nothing has happen. As compared to arguing with the person out front, I think maybe this kind of live which is nearer to reality is better!

After reading this, I really relate to it... I find myself being a hipocrite after I start working. I can be cursing and swearing in my heart but my voice still sound sweet over the phone... or at least i try to be sweet... this is so sickening... i did question myself before, but the conclusion i arrive at is that i can't do anything about it... like the author, i think its better to just swallow the thing then to argue with the person... but.... i find that i still find other ways to vent my fustration.. whether is it cursing and swearing or worst taking it out on my family and friends... so friends forgive me if i ever did that to you...